I am tired of this 2 steps forward, 3 steps back business of my life. I am ready to start living my life without thinking about anyone else...the way the people in my life live. I have been sad all weekend. I don't even know why. I know he isn't mine. I know I need to move on because he has. I know this in my head but my heart still yearns for him. I still think he is going to change his mind. I know that I don't want to be married to THAT man. I want to be married to the man that loves me for all my faults and never held them against me. I want to be married to the man that knew I need to be held and loved BECAUSE of all of my faults. I know I have baggage and I hold grudges. I do it to protect myself. I am tired of being hurt and used.
I am tired of hurting. I want to move on. I want to leave my hurt with God but I can't for some reason. I want to be held in love again someday. Is that in my future?
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