Damn!!

So Jacob spent the afternoon with his father today. I didn't think that I would be blindsided on such a normal day. I pick Jacob up and so I have to go to Aaron's apartment. When I get there, my precious baby breaks my heart. I come in and Jacob looks at me and says, "I thought you were _________(Aaron's girlfriend, I refuse to say her name!)" I cried all the way home. Jacob heard me and asked what was wrong. I have tried really hard to keep him from seeing me cry. I knew he was probably gonna hear but it KILLS me that Aaron has moved on so completely with someone new, someone that he has known since this summer! He is so far gone that MY son knows this woman and is accustomed to her being at Aaron's apartment just KILLS me! I know I will have to get over it but it is so hard. I don't want to share my son. Isn't it enough that I have lost my husband? Do I have to lose my son too? What if he likes her more than me? What if, what if, what if!! I know that I wil drive myself crazy with the what ifs but that is going to do me in.

I know that I can NOT handle knowing that THAT person is around my son. I can't!